Grief & Loss

“I miss him so much. Why did he leave me?”

Your father died almost two years ago – suddenly. The memories of that day you received the call are as fresh as the air on a cool fall day. The two of you had differences, but he was a great father. You loved and cared deeply about him; he loved you so much.

Driving home from work, you hear one of the many songs you heard in childhood. The tears roll uncontrollably from your eyes.

In an instant, you feel flooded by regret. “I should have called more. I was always too busy to see my dad.” You even missed calling him on Father’s Day once.

Memories make the pain worse.

You wake up from dreams searching for him, but he is nowhere to be found. The reoccurring dreams have the same theme: you franticly look for him but never find him.

As the holidays approach, you find yourself attending the restaurant your family went to when you were young. You order his favorite meal, and it has become yours. Afterward, you drive down your childhood street.

Stopping at your childhood home and gazing from the street is a ritual you do alone. Once again, your mind becomes flooded with thoughts. It’s Christmas, and in your mind, you see the two of you opening presents under the tree. In your closet are several of his clothes. The smell of them makes you remember your daddy.

You normalize your pain by telling yourself that, “It’s only been two years. The way I feel will get better.” When others ask you about your father’s death, you have the same answer – “It’s part of life. There’s nothing I can do about it.”

There is no closure traveling down this road.

You can keep all your feelings about your father’s passing to yourself and share your thoughts with no one. But your dreams haunt you, and you continue to suffer your grief alone.

You may have fewer dreams, but you may never find him. If he does appear, you wake up confused and question the events in your dream.

When you visit the places the two of you frequented, it only causes depression and loneliness. You now visit these places around your dad’s birthday and when you feel sad.

There is something you can do – seek grief counseling.

Finding a therapist to help you process the pain of losing a loved one is not for the faint of heart.

Suffering in silence about your dad’s death sounds like a lifetime of depressive thoughts and feelings around birthdays and holidays – more or less throughout the year. There will always be memories that provoke thoughts. Processing them makes all the difference!

Whether or not your loved one passed unexpectedly, suffered a debilitating illness that caused their death, or committed suicide, this event changed your life forever. There’s no question that the holidays won’t be the same.

How you choose to incorporate the loss into your life will affect the rest of your life. There’s a huge difference between having fond memories of your past and repeated moments of isolation filled with grief.

Please call today to schedule your appointment. Let’s work together to help you process your grief and move forward!